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Behaviour may include passivity, curling into self, and slumped posture.
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The victim believes life is just happening to her, that she has no power over what happens and what happens is not in her control to change.
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The self-talk and beliefs of the victim include Poor me. I am hopeless. I am helpless. I am not enough. Another basic belief is I am not OK while you are definitely OK.
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The victim denies her own resourcefulness and resilience.
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The victim feels hopeless, powerless, small and worrisome.
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The victim’s theme song could be called, I Will Die If You Don’t Solve My Problem!
The ‘payoff’ to taking on this role is “I don’t have to deal with things that feel too difficult”.
Ask yourself the five questions below to check how often you play the victim role:
- Do I feel hopeless, powerless or weak?
- Do I believe I can’t make wise decisions or make positive changes?
- Do I believe my life is just one problem after another?
- Do I manipulate others or use guilt to get help or get what I want?
- Do I blame others or circumstances for my difficulties?